All the feels
I've come to the conclusion I'm achingly, overwhelmingly, (annoyingly) empathetic, and that it is both a gift and a burden. I basically can't make it through a day without crying about someone else's pain. Especially when it comes to elderly people. I've been fascinated (obsessed?) by the fact that we are all going to get old and die. And by fascinated, I mean in the dictionary sense. Like, "drawn irresistibly to". As part of this insane entrepreneurial journey, I've been devouring knowledge like a starving person. There are 2 reasons for that:
1) I feel like a kindergartner when it comes to business and I'm looking to level up.
2) All the vocal successful e-types espouse the virtue of constant learning.
I don't know if I believe that's a tenent of success, but I know that it's worked for them so who am I to argue? (I have a more-than-vague feeling they're right.)
So while I've been gorging myself on business books and high-level masterminds, striving to build a bajillion dollar business that will eventually run without me, my soul has still been uncomfortable. What is the point of money? What is the point of anything if we're just going to get old and die? (I addressed this in my last post. Sorry, I can't just let it go.***)
I've been reading a book (see last 2 blog posts) and it's been the exact balm I needed. I didn't seek this book out, it found me. So many good thoughts come out of it, and even though I just want to power through it to get to my next book, I also like reading it in bite-size pieces and marinating on it. (Total mixed metaphor. Suck it.) So here's where it's hit me hardest:
When you reframe the question of "What's the point?" to "What is my purpose?" things get infinitely more interesting. Fuck "the point". I don't know and I won't know until I get to the next place. But I can definitely strive for a purpose. My purpose is to build a ridiculously rock-solid marriage and to cherish my family through my actions. To be present and fundamental in my childrens' lives. To continue to grow in ways that bring light to my life, so that light can attract others to God. My purpose is to do things with such commitment and gusto that others are inspired to take bigger actions in their lives. That's one thing I really love - coaching (bullying?) people to get outside their NOW to get to their POTENTIAL.
The other section that rocked me a little bit was this: we are the instrument of answering God's prayers. No divine item is going to save your neighbor. You are going to do it. And by doing it, God is working through you. This figuratively blew my mind. When a friend calls me in crisis I may say, "Trust that it'll all work out. It always has in the past." And then I abdicate any responsibility. But that's not it! If I can, and I feel called to, I should help it all work out. WE are the tools. We're just so damn self-absorbed that we don't do anything about it. (Or maybe I'm so self-absorbed that I incorrectly think I'm God's tool. Dang! Theological rabbit hole.)
***I'm pretty sure this is a standard mid-life crisis. Except that it's been going on for about 10 years with me.
1) I feel like a kindergartner when it comes to business and I'm looking to level up.
2) All the vocal successful e-types espouse the virtue of constant learning.
I don't know if I believe that's a tenent of success, but I know that it's worked for them so who am I to argue? (I have a more-than-vague feeling they're right.)
So while I've been gorging myself on business books and high-level masterminds, striving to build a bajillion dollar business that will eventually run without me, my soul has still been uncomfortable. What is the point of money? What is the point of anything if we're just going to get old and die? (I addressed this in my last post. Sorry, I can't just let it go.***)
I've been reading a book (see last 2 blog posts) and it's been the exact balm I needed. I didn't seek this book out, it found me. So many good thoughts come out of it, and even though I just want to power through it to get to my next book, I also like reading it in bite-size pieces and marinating on it. (Total mixed metaphor. Suck it.) So here's where it's hit me hardest:
When you reframe the question of "What's the point?" to "What is my purpose?" things get infinitely more interesting. Fuck "the point". I don't know and I won't know until I get to the next place. But I can definitely strive for a purpose. My purpose is to build a ridiculously rock-solid marriage and to cherish my family through my actions. To be present and fundamental in my childrens' lives. To continue to grow in ways that bring light to my life, so that light can attract others to God. My purpose is to do things with such commitment and gusto that others are inspired to take bigger actions in their lives. That's one thing I really love - coaching (bullying?) people to get outside their NOW to get to their POTENTIAL.
The other section that rocked me a little bit was this: we are the instrument of answering God's prayers. No divine item is going to save your neighbor. You are going to do it. And by doing it, God is working through you. This figuratively blew my mind. When a friend calls me in crisis I may say, "Trust that it'll all work out. It always has in the past." And then I abdicate any responsibility. But that's not it! If I can, and I feel called to, I should help it all work out. WE are the tools. We're just so damn self-absorbed that we don't do anything about it. (Or maybe I'm so self-absorbed that I incorrectly think I'm God's tool. Dang! Theological rabbit hole.)
***I'm pretty sure this is a standard mid-life crisis. Except that it's been going on for about 10 years with me.
"We are the tools." Thank you for my morning wake up call.
ReplyDeleteHappy to share it. :). I'd love to hear if you end up doing something with it!
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