Melancholy but mostly just exhausted
My brain is kind of mush. I mean, mush, but also pushing to the breaking point of filling it with ambitious things. Mush like there's too much electricity in a small space and it has short-circuited. Anywho.
Life is really busy right now. The business, obviously. And 3 kids (who, unfortunately, I feel lots of mom guilt like I don't spend enough time with them.) Then the internal pressure to feel like I'm not working so hard that I'm missing out on having a social life or being involved, so I fit social things in, but it all just feels kind of crazy and out of control. And at heart, I'm a very creative person and I don't feel like I have the time* to indulge my creativity, which leaves me feeling... melancholy. I used to peruse DIY blogs (like my faves YHL, Ana-White, and Ikeahackers) and get excited for fun house projects. Now I spend my free time reading business books (when I'm being good) or fluffy Young Adult books (when I'm indulging my obsessive reading side). In Florida, I was super lucky because I could spend my Saturday mornings building things in the garage/driveway.
*I say I don't have the time because I am working so much, neglecting my kids, and cramming in social time so to do something that is purely for my solo enjoyment seems too selfish to contemplate. Also, I don't want to spend the cash on a frivolous project. (Of course, I'll spend it on a whim socially...) I probably should chat with the hubster about this.**
**“Instead of saying “I don’t have time” try saying “it’s not a priority,” and see how that feels. Often, that’s a perfectly adequate explanation. I have time to iron my sheets, I just don’t want to. But other things are harder. Try it: “I’m not going to edit your résumé, sweetie, because it’s not a priority.” “I don’t go to the doctor because my health is not a priority.” If these phrases don’t sit well, that’s the point. Changing our language reminds us that time is a choice. If we don’t like how we’re spending an hour, we can choose differently.” - Wall Street Journal
Addendum: Talked to the hubster last night and he's pretty sure I'm burning out because I'm working all the time. I'm going to implement a no-work-after-5:30pm rule and turn all my gadgets off (because that's the only way that rule will actually happen.) I'll need to force myself to recharge after the kids go to bed (usually I'm too tired to anything but veg on the couch, but I think I need to make myself do something creative occassionally.) Let's see how it goes!
Life is really busy right now. The business, obviously. And 3 kids (who, unfortunately, I feel lots of mom guilt like I don't spend enough time with them.) Then the internal pressure to feel like I'm not working so hard that I'm missing out on having a social life or being involved, so I fit social things in, but it all just feels kind of crazy and out of control. And at heart, I'm a very creative person and I don't feel like I have the time* to indulge my creativity, which leaves me feeling... melancholy. I used to peruse DIY blogs (like my faves YHL, Ana-White, and Ikeahackers) and get excited for fun house projects. Now I spend my free time reading business books (when I'm being good) or fluffy Young Adult books (when I'm indulging my obsessive reading side). In Florida, I was super lucky because I could spend my Saturday mornings building things in the garage/driveway.
*I say I don't have the time because I am working so much, neglecting my kids, and cramming in social time so to do something that is purely for my solo enjoyment seems too selfish to contemplate. Also, I don't want to spend the cash on a frivolous project. (Of course, I'll spend it on a whim socially...) I probably should chat with the hubster about this.**
**“Instead of saying “I don’t have time” try saying “it’s not a priority,” and see how that feels. Often, that’s a perfectly adequate explanation. I have time to iron my sheets, I just don’t want to. But other things are harder. Try it: “I’m not going to edit your résumé, sweetie, because it’s not a priority.” “I don’t go to the doctor because my health is not a priority.” If these phrases don’t sit well, that’s the point. Changing our language reminds us that time is a choice. If we don’t like how we’re spending an hour, we can choose differently.” - Wall Street Journal
Addendum: Talked to the hubster last night and he's pretty sure I'm burning out because I'm working all the time. I'm going to implement a no-work-after-5:30pm rule and turn all my gadgets off (because that's the only way that rule will actually happen.) I'll need to force myself to recharge after the kids go to bed (usually I'm too tired to anything but veg on the couch, but I think I need to make myself do something creative occassionally.) Let's see how it goes!
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