Dying and Living

My aunt is dying.  She went on home hospice last Thursday, and the reality of the situation is that she is not likely to live more than a week or two.  Her body has been slowly shutting down for the past few months, and she hasn't eaten or drank anything for almost 5 days.  For the extended family, this was the inevitable progression.  For my uncle, until yesterday I think he held on to the belief that she was going to get better (and to be fair, up until 2 weeks ago she was having occupational and physical therapists in to try and get her up and out of bed.)  They don't have any children, but many in-laws, and we've been surrounding them with love as much as possible in this difficult process.

On another note, my oldest nephew started college this weekend, and we went up to check out his new life.  It was very campus-y and collegiate and as long as he can avoid the major temptations of partying too much, studying not enough, and sleeping through class, he will have an epic time.

This is necessary back-story to my morning prayers, the part about Significant Moments...

Both of these current things are hugely significant because they mark life altering events - one I have been through, one that's in the (hopefully distant) future.  I've been (deeply) thinking about the purpose of life for the past year or so.  I still don't have the answer.  All I know is that it is moving forward.  I will never have that new college experience of meeting exciting new friends and living in my own little bubble again.  I want to be ok with that and enjoy where I'm at, but I'm struggling because where I'm at requires so much more WORK than that.  And I sadly know I'll even miss these golden days of small kids and exciting jobs and Potential (dinner parties and weeks at the lake and RV roadtrips).  And I feel like, from here on out, death and loss will just arrive with ever increasing frequency.  It's a depressing sort of place to be in.  Which is par for the course, when a family member is dying.  So anyway.  Sorry for the depressing.  I'm hoping by putting it out of my brain it'll get a little bit out of my psyche.