Be at peace
I remembered today that I have lost the ability to just BE. (Maybe I never had it) Matt is out of town, the girls were playing nicely together, the house was mostly clean and I... didn't know what to do with myself. I caught myself a few times pestering Brynna or Eve to do something and thought, "Dude. Chill. They're happy." I think I'm a product of our hyper-stimulated time, and that I create this incessant go-go-go world I live in. Most of the time I like it.
Actually, I'd like to revise that first statement. I haven't lost the ability. It just takes a seismic mental shift to relocate it. Eventually I did. Eve was napping, Brynna was playing some game, and I laid on the couch and willed my body to relax. It just seems like there is always something to be done. If there isn't always something to be done, then maybe I should plan something! (And I don't actually mean getting out and about. I am blissfully happy to curl up with a good book for a few hours. But that is the mellowest sort of doing, and not actually just being.) Am I the only one that feels this? It's like coming in off a busy street to absolute silence. Downtime is a little unnerving.
On a related note, the house was mostly clean because we were supposed to be hosting a post-soccer-pool-party. That's right, I'm taking soccer mom to a whole 'nother level. 3 families (read: 6 adults and 6 kids), were going to come join me for delicious burgers around 11:30 am. Except that at 12:45, it was just Team Shea (sans 1) hanging out at the pool party. De.press.ing. 2 of the families texted lame excuses (that's just my unhappiness talking). And around 1, the third one showed up and ate my delicious burgers. We ended up chatting away the afternoon and having quite a nice time. But still, for a good while there I thought I threw a party and nobody was coming. I hope to never repeat that experience. And if you tell someone you are coming to their party, don't bail thinking "It's ok, I'm sure other people will show up." BECAUSE THEY MIGHT NOT!
And isn't blogging just another way to fill time so that I can avoid down time? :)
Actually, I'd like to revise that first statement. I haven't lost the ability. It just takes a seismic mental shift to relocate it. Eventually I did. Eve was napping, Brynna was playing some game, and I laid on the couch and willed my body to relax. It just seems like there is always something to be done. If there isn't always something to be done, then maybe I should plan something! (And I don't actually mean getting out and about. I am blissfully happy to curl up with a good book for a few hours. But that is the mellowest sort of doing, and not actually just being.) Am I the only one that feels this? It's like coming in off a busy street to absolute silence. Downtime is a little unnerving.
On a related note, the house was mostly clean because we were supposed to be hosting a post-soccer-pool-party. That's right, I'm taking soccer mom to a whole 'nother level. 3 families (read: 6 adults and 6 kids), were going to come join me for delicious burgers around 11:30 am. Except that at 12:45, it was just Team Shea (sans 1) hanging out at the pool party. De.press.ing. 2 of the families texted lame excuses (that's just my unhappiness talking). And around 1, the third one showed up and ate my delicious burgers. We ended up chatting away the afternoon and having quite a nice time. But still, for a good while there I thought I threw a party and nobody was coming. I hope to never repeat that experience. And if you tell someone you are coming to their party, don't bail thinking "It's ok, I'm sure other people will show up." BECAUSE THEY MIGHT NOT!
And isn't blogging just another way to fill time so that I can avoid down time? :)
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