Parenting and Happiness
Ever read Freakanomics? Awesome book for data junkies. Lots of hysterical correlations that you never saw coming. Anyway, I'm reading this article Reger posted (by the same people) and it made me want to write about something I've been thinking about for some time now, but didn't want to say aloud.
STEVENSON: I mean, the bottom line is that the data still suggests that people with kids are less happy than people without, even though among the people like us, that happiness hit is smaller, it does suggest they’re less happy.
This is true for the Shea family, but something I am hesitant to write because once you put it on the internet, you know your kids are going to find it years from now and put you in a crappy nursing home. (Brynna! I don't mean it!)
It's just that the level of responsibility skyrockets so vastly that it is not possible to be as carefree and happy as no kids. But it's also kind of like working out - I hate running, I do not enjoy it while I'm doing it, but I love being in shape. I'm not such a fan of bedtime routines and finding ways to stimulate my child at the expense of stimulating my own mind (so freakin' selfish, I know, but that's the truth). And I really like sleep, which they seem to think is something that parents don't need. But there are such pure moments of awesomeness and pride when I think "Holy cow, that's my girl! She rocks!"
Since I pretty much talked Matt into life with babies (he definitely wanted to be a DINK - Dual Income, No Kids), I have guilt issues about knowing that I caused his life to be less happy. The funny thing that is regardless of how much any given moment may suck, I'm am absolutely convinced that the overall return on happiness will be worth it. I don't think any argument would be able to persuade me otherwise. I think of how much I love my family and my parents now, and that is the prize I'm working for. To be able to sit around with my kids when they're actually adults and see how amazing life is. To be able to stay young by seeing the world through their eyes in the meantime.
The awesome thing that I took away from this article though is that it is OK to be a lazy parent :) And tonight B can watch Beauty and the Beast for the millionth time while I do something fun for me!
CAPLAN: People call them electronic babysitters as if it’s a bad thing. But babysitters are good, and nothing wrong with being electronic. So, I mean the idea that there’s some awful harm done when your children watch TV or play video games, there’s no evidence of that. So, you know, if they enjoy it and it gives you a chance to relax and get a little peace and quiet and do your own thing, and get some work done, no reason to feel guilty about it. And I’d actually go further and say, like, especially now, there really is a lot of fantastic culture on television and in video games. I would be sad if my kids didn’t like “The Simpsons,” even more sad than if they didn’t like opera.
STEVENSON: I mean, the bottom line is that the data still suggests that people with kids are less happy than people without, even though among the people like us, that happiness hit is smaller, it does suggest they’re less happy.
This is true for the Shea family, but something I am hesitant to write because once you put it on the internet, you know your kids are going to find it years from now and put you in a crappy nursing home. (Brynna! I don't mean it!)
It's just that the level of responsibility skyrockets so vastly that it is not possible to be as carefree and happy as no kids. But it's also kind of like working out - I hate running, I do not enjoy it while I'm doing it, but I love being in shape. I'm not such a fan of bedtime routines and finding ways to stimulate my child at the expense of stimulating my own mind (so freakin' selfish, I know, but that's the truth). And I really like sleep, which they seem to think is something that parents don't need. But there are such pure moments of awesomeness and pride when I think "Holy cow, that's my girl! She rocks!"
Since I pretty much talked Matt into life with babies (he definitely wanted to be a DINK - Dual Income, No Kids), I have guilt issues about knowing that I caused his life to be less happy. The funny thing that is regardless of how much any given moment may suck, I'm am absolutely convinced that the overall return on happiness will be worth it. I don't think any argument would be able to persuade me otherwise. I think of how much I love my family and my parents now, and that is the prize I'm working for. To be able to sit around with my kids when they're actually adults and see how amazing life is. To be able to stay young by seeing the world through their eyes in the meantime.
The awesome thing that I took away from this article though is that it is OK to be a lazy parent :) And tonight B can watch Beauty and the Beast for the millionth time while I do something fun for me!
CAPLAN: People call them electronic babysitters as if it’s a bad thing. But babysitters are good, and nothing wrong with being electronic. So, I mean the idea that there’s some awful harm done when your children watch TV or play video games, there’s no evidence of that. So, you know, if they enjoy it and it gives you a chance to relax and get a little peace and quiet and do your own thing, and get some work done, no reason to feel guilty about it. And I’d actually go further and say, like, especially now, there really is a lot of fantastic culture on television and in video games. I would be sad if my kids didn’t like “The Simpsons,” even more sad than if they didn’t like opera.
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