Oo lookie lookie!

I dyed my hair :) (and no, my job doesn't care that much)

So, I'm going to warn you right now that this blog is going to be as random as my hair. First, after much deliberation, I finally settled on an MP3 player. First I bought the Toshiba Gigabeat (30GB), but then found it didn't have a microphone. If you don't have need for a microphone, I highly highly highly recommend it. I paid about $180 and it was a sweet little package. Unfortunately I sent it back and instead purchased a Zen Vision M (30GB) in lime green. I love it and it's got the microphone (for my fiddle lessons). It's bigger and heavier than the Gigiddy beat - but smaller and lighter than both the Zune and iPod. AND it doesn't force you to use Microsoft Media Player to sync (I hate that program), plus it lets you delete songs right off the player when you don't like them. All in all a good purchase so far. ($225 with a $50 rebate)

After filling my Zentastic with 10GB of songs, I still wasn't satisfied, so last night I dove into the world of podcasts. And all I have to say is DEEEEEEEEEEEEAMN! There are a lot of podcast shows. I barely knew where to start, but I had an idea... In my pursuit of fiddle, I've learned to butcher quite a few Gaelic tune titles. I thought perhaps I should work on that, so my first podcast download is a Learn Irish series. It's tough. Next I wandered through NPR and downloaded a few of their shows, grabbed some Gaelic music casts, and finished with a random podcast of a woman's ramblings.

This is basically a girl our age telling her rants and raves, and pretty much her life story. For the first couple segments, it was quite entertaining. She talks about her and her husband, her pursuit of the perfect christmas gift, the trials of having stepkids, a random college threesome, an evil roommate... all entertaining. Through the casts you get the theme that there is underlying tension between her and the husband. The last one (that I just had to shut off) talks about them seperating. It hurts me. The issues are so shallow, but so basic - she's overweight, he's not attracted to her, needs aren't being fulfilled (not just sexual)... It makes me sad, because you listen to these casts and you realize they shouldn't have gotten married in the first place, that fundamentally they're just not right for each other. Maybe at some point they were good for each other, but never great. Their dreams aren't the same (she wants kids, he doesn't; he's into mechanical things, she gets bored and annoyed when he tries to talk about them) And they didn't really take into account what it was going to take to last forever. It's easy to see 3 years out, and it's easy to see 30 years out, but it's the inbetween that will do you in.

It also of course makes me sad any time I hear about a marriage failing because it makes me worry. I sure do love my husband and I couldn't be any happier, but it makes me worry that someday there might be a time when that's not true, and will we make it through? (Of course we will!) But still... it strikes a chord.

Also, the podcast is a bit whiny. We all know I am short in the patience department. For me, there are problems, and there are solutions. That's why I'm an engineer. There is ALWAYS a solution, it just might not be the path you want to take, or have the courage/dedication to take. I think I'm blessed with a lot of courage (some might call it stubbornness), and it's hard for me to comprehend that other people aren't. Quit whining. You're overweight? Go to the gym. You can't seem to go regularly? Get a personal trainer, or ask a friend to keep tabs on your workouts. You have self esteem issues and feel uncomfortable going to the gym? Go to a therapist, or join Curves. Until you've exhausted every possible avenue, quit crying. Most of the time, it's just that you're lazy and getting in shape is not a priority. That's fine if you can accept yourself that way. But if you can't, repeat steps 1 through 4. (I'm a bitch.)

I honestly wish I didn't feel so snotty and short-tempered. I'm sure it's a fantastic form of pride that is going to cause me to fall and fall hard, probably break a tailbone or something.

I was going to finish up with the joys of running at work (in the city), but I've gone on long enough, so I'll save that for another day.

Much love, your snotty Elversonian. :)