A blog without purpose
(that means I just get to ramble.) There's a couple of big things on my mind - weddings, breakups, babies (none of which pertain to me at the moment) but instead have just left me contemplative.
if you are left with one (gaping) hole in the the middle of you that you don't really care to fill (wallowing being sometimes infinitely better than the potential disappoint of realizing you can't fill it) -- (or even worse, realizing that the hole is bigger than you initially imagined, and far beyond your capacity to fix), yes, if you are in this situation, what is the best course of action? is there any tactful, even graceful way to get through it? should you and does it matter? (now i know you little busybodies are diligently racking your brains for the cause of said hole, but let me put you at ease, this is merely a currently unrelated but previously experienced event, brought to the fore by the world around me)
or still... if you are to break that tender object so firmly placed in your hands for no greater moral reason than your own potential happiness (breaking that which you love thus breaking a little piece of you, oh isn't that just a catch 22) doing so on the grounds of good not being great and trying to live with being the bad person but knowing you really didn't mean to be...
or still... the utter terror of bringing a new little wonder into this life that you only get to live once, knowing that newness soon becomes the only (and quickens your pace down some road you have no possible way of packing correctly for)
it seems that every day these things explode into being, little supernovas that people right next to you glimpse only as a shooting stars.
Of course, that just might be ok - because it's really uncomfortable when people like me stop and stare.
if you are left with one (gaping) hole in the the middle of you that you don't really care to fill (wallowing being sometimes infinitely better than the potential disappoint of realizing you can't fill it) -- (or even worse, realizing that the hole is bigger than you initially imagined, and far beyond your capacity to fix), yes, if you are in this situation, what is the best course of action? is there any tactful, even graceful way to get through it? should you and does it matter? (now i know you little busybodies are diligently racking your brains for the cause of said hole, but let me put you at ease, this is merely a currently unrelated but previously experienced event, brought to the fore by the world around me)
or still... if you are to break that tender object so firmly placed in your hands for no greater moral reason than your own potential happiness (breaking that which you love thus breaking a little piece of you, oh isn't that just a catch 22) doing so on the grounds of good not being great and trying to live with being the bad person but knowing you really didn't mean to be...
or still... the utter terror of bringing a new little wonder into this life that you only get to live once, knowing that newness soon becomes the only (and quickens your pace down some road you have no possible way of packing correctly for)
it seems that every day these things explode into being, little supernovas that people right next to you glimpse only as a shooting stars.
Of course, that just might be ok - because it's really uncomfortable when people like me stop and stare.
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