it's friday

and that makes it a good day. even though i still work for the world's worst boss. i take that back - many people trump her (hitler comes to mind), but she's bad enough when you have to suffer through the daily doses.

because of the negativity she brings to my life i find i've become a thoroughly selfish person. i only care about making it through another day of mental beatings and irrational outbursts, and then sucking every last bit of happiness out of the other moments. the upside is that the adversity makes all the other minor inconveniences fade to the background. the downside is that i've stopped looking outside my bubble for others that i can help.

and when i go to bed at night and say my prayers for freedom, i can't help but take a guilty minute to realize how fantastic i have it. the worst boss is not the worst ever. not by a long shot. and i'm sure that i'm learning valuable lessons that one day will be much more apparent. of course, even the good catholic guilt cannot penetrate my shield of apathy (what can i say, i'm above average at everything, even building defenses) but it gives me hope that even under the best defenses, the spark remains. and i guess i hope that the same is true for those i know and love...

(end ramble here)